


La Vie en Rose

by i_am_deaded



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: AU, Alternate Universe, Bodyswap, Erwin is one crafty motherfucker, Gen, M/M, POV Armin Arlert, POV First Person, i am such a cheeseball
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-03-11
Updated: 2018-02-24
Packaged: 2018-10-02 13:50:22
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 12,010
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10219634
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/i_am_deaded/pseuds/i_am_deaded
Summary: All of a sudden, I heard a bang and a scream of pain simultaneously. Eren was on the floor a few feet away from the machine, and it appeared Hanji had taken steps back from the machine. I dropped my notes and ran for Eren, praying he wasn’t dead. Of all the things to die of in this life, dying by one of Hanji’s crazy machines would not be my first pick.As soon as I touched Eren’s prone body, I felt an intense pain shoot up my arm and throughout my whole body as I blacked out.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hey everyone! This is my first forage into the Attack on Titan fandom. It bugged me that there were no Armin/Eren bodyswap fics, so when this story popped into my head I just had to write something. I hope you like it!  
> Also, I can't promise regular updates, but if there's interest I'll do my best!  
> \- Ratings and tags may change, so watch out for those.

 

_Quand il me prend dans ses bras_

_Il me parle tout bas_

_Je vois la vie en rose_

_Il me dit des mots d'amour_

_Des mots de tous les jours_

_Et ça me fait quelque chose_

 

 

I tend to have weird dreams.

You know, those ones where some people you know, an arbitrary assortment of friends, colleagues, bosses, end up in a strange fantasy world of your own imagination. Eren has always told me I have a weird imagination, and I always say to him that he lacks one. I don’t ever mean it seriously, and he smacks me on the shoulder with a chuckle whenever it comes up. Mikasa would just roll her eyes at our antics.

In my dream, Hanji (our resident crazy scientist) decided it would be a good idea to test out some new types of explosives they invented. I was helping them write down some notes, along with Moblit and a few others that were stuck with Hanji duty. When Captain Levi was feeling especially spiteful, he would make one of us actually help them with their experiments in close quarters, while the rest of us would stand back at a safe distance to watch.

It was Eren’s turn today. I couldn’t remember what he did to earn Levi’s wrath. Maybe just existing in the same space as Levi for too long – he never could stand to be in the same room as us new recruits long.

Eren was holding what looked like a long, thick spool of metal wire, which was attached to some strange machine Hanji had put together. Hanji directed Eren to where he was supposed to put it around a large metal cylinder. They had explained a bit of this concept to me: that the earth’s natural magnetism would induce some sort of energy generation when some sort of movement was added. I didn’t trust it, but I found the idea morbidly fascinating.

From my point of view, I could only really see Hanji and Eren as they worked on their machine, everyone else’s faces were blurry. I could tell I was writing, but I didn’t know what.

All of a sudden, I heard a bang and a scream of pain simultaneously. Eren was on the floor a few feet away from the machine, and it appeared Hanji had taken steps back from the machine. I dropped my notes and ran for Eren, praying he wasn’t dead. Of all the things to die of in this life, dying by one of Hanji’s crazy machines would not be my first pick.

As I came within a few feet of Eren, I heard a shout. “No, don’t touch him! We don’t know if–”

The warning came too late as I reached my hand out to check for signs of life. As soon as I touched Eren’s prone body, I felt an intense pain shoot up my arm and throughout my whole body as I blacked out.

 

* * *

 

The pain had felt so real.

As I started to regain consciousness, my first feeling was pain at all of my nerve endings. Like an intense and uncomfortable tingling. My mouth was dry and my body felt so heavy I could barely move. Then I remembered my dream. Had that been real?

I opened my eyes to see Mikasa staring down at me.

“Mikasa?” I croak, my voice so hoarse it was barely a whisper.

“Oh, thank the Walls, you’re awake,” she said, relief evident on her face. Then she frowned. “You’re an idiot.”

“What… happened,” I whispered, my words coming back to me. My tongue felt too heavy in my mouth.

“There was an accident in Hanji’s lab,” she simply said.

“Yeah, I’m aware,” I reply. “My body feels strange.” My vocal cords must have been damaged as well, because my voice was much lower than I was used to. Maybe I would finally sound more mature, for once.

“Well, I’m just glad you’re alive, Eren.”

Wait… what?

“Eren?” I asked, confused. Then I remembered. “Is Eren alright too? He caught the worst of the blast.”

“Eren, what are you talking about? Can’t you remember? Are you ok?” Mikasa looked slightly panicked now.

“I’m not Eren,” I said, staring to panic myself. My body still would not cooperate, but I was starting to get feeling back in my legs and wiggled my toes. “I’m Armin.”

“No, Armin’s in the other bed. He’s still passed out. Eren, you’re freaking me out.” Mikasa looked briefly to the left.

I tried to sit up, my arms shaking as I struggled upright. “Mikasa, what are you…” I stopped short as I looked over to the bed Mikasa had indicated. There was a person in it.

And that person looked exactly like me.

“What in the world…” I exclaimed, looking down at myself. These were not my clothes. These were not my hands. They looked like…

“Mikasa, get me a mirror,” I said mechanically. “Please.”

“Ok, I’ll be back in a second.” She seemed reluctant to leave my side, but granted my request and left the room.

I looked over at my doppelganger in the bed next to me. Other than their skin appearing a shade paler than I was normally, they looked exactly like me. I put my hands in my hair, feeling the short, coarse strands.

This isn’t happening. This isn’t happening. _How the hell can this be happening?_

Eren. Where was he?

“Eren?” Mikasa’s voice made me jump. I looked up as she was handing me the mirror I requested. I took it with shaky hands. When I looked in the mirror, Eren’s face stared back at me. I stopped breathing. I raised one hand to my face. It felt strange. I had felt Eren’s face before when we were younger while patching him up after stupid fights, I could list every scar and when it had happened. Feeling this on my own face, however, was probably the most unnerving experience of my life. I gasped in a breath.

“What’s wrong? Eren, _what’s wrong?_ ” Mikasa was running out of patience.

 _I’m not Eren,_ I thought. I was silent for a minute, trying to process what I was seeing in front of me. Emphasis on _trying_.

“Mikasa, go get Hanji,” I said when my voice was a little less shaky. “Go get them. Right now.”

“No, Eren, tell me what’s happening–”

“No, Mikasa, you need to get Hanji right now!” I yelled at her, my voice desperate. “GO!”

Mikasa turned without another word and sprinted away. Before she could run out of the room I added, “And make sure to tell people to not come in here for any reason!”

I didn’t know if she heard me or not because I did not receive a reply. I listened to her loud footsteps as they retreated into silence.

When she was gone, I stared to hyperventilate.

_What the actual fuck is happeneing!? Am I in Eren’s body?_

I warped my arms around myself for comfort and fought back tears.

_This must have been caused my Hanji’s machine. But how?_

I looked over again at the prone figure next to me. What if…

I slowly tried to make my way out of bed, pulling back the covers slowly and planting my bare feet on the floor. It was so strange seeing another person’s feet from this angle. I took a deep breath and stood up. My head started to spin immediately, so I angled myself and took a step so that I could plop down on the bed next to mine.

After I regained my balance and the white spots disappeared from my sight, I looked down on what I suspected was my body. It was definitely my face, although it was strange to see it like this. I had, obviously, never seen myself with my eyes closed, my face slack in unconsciousness.

I reached out a tentative hand to shake my body’s shoulder. If I was in Eren’s body, then maybe…

“Eren,” I whispered. I repeated his name, shaking him a bit harder, and he groaned.

“Who… wha? Armin?” He scrunched his eyes together, my forehead crinkling in a way I knew my face did when I was in pain, before opening them slowly to look at me. His eyes widened.

“What the fu–”

“It’s me, Eren,” I interrupted, “It’s Armin.”

Eren was stunned for a moment and said nothing. Then he closed his eyes again. “I must be dreaming.”

“It’s not a dream,” I said shakily. “I think we may have s-switched bodies or souls or something.”

Eren started mumbling to himself and the words were incomprehensible to me.

“Eren, I’m serious. I’m Armin Arlert, I’ve been your best friend for years. Please, you have to believe me or I think I’ll go crazy.”

 Eren opened his eyes again. “Prove it.” He said with no emotion in his voice. Was that how I sounded?

I stood up again slowly and grabbed the mirror I had left laying on my bed and gave it to him. He took it, looking at his reflection in shock.

“Armin, what…” he trailed off taking in my face reflected in the mirror.

“Do you believe me now?”

Eren tore his eyes away from the mirror to look at me in wonder, likely taking in the fact that his own face and voice were speaking back to him.

“Armin?” He finally said.

“Yeah, it’s me,” I replied, a bit relieved.

Eren put down the mirror next to him and stared at my hands which were now his hands. I took his hands in my own.

“What the fuck.”

“I know.”

“What the _fuck._ ”

“I _know,_ Eren. Do you remember the accident in Hanji’s lab?”

“A little bit, yeah.”

“Well, I think that’s what caused this.”

“No shit,” said Eren, looking back up at me, his face now expressing worry.

I stepped back and sat down again on my bed, suddenly tired. “I told Mikasa to go get Hanji, so she’ll be back with them any second.”

“You what!?”

“Eren, calm down. If anybody knows what happened, it’s them. We need to tell them.”

“No, we can’t.”

I stared at him. “What? Why not?”

“Because if Hanji knows, then everyone will know, with their big blabber mouth.”

“Then how do we fix this?”

“I don’t know Armin!”

We fell silent for a few seconds, staring each other down. It was so weird looking into my own face, knowing that someone else’s consciousness was behind it.

“Fine,” said Eren. “Maybe you’re right.”

“I’m always right,” I replied.

Eren smirked with my mouth. “Not always, Arms. Remember that time when–”

“No, don’t even bring that up. That was your fault, since you didn’t tell me everything!”

“Not my problem, bud. You’re the genius here, you should have known.”

“Ugh! You’re impossible.”

“I know. I can transform into a titan, what did you expect?”

We dissolved into laugher, our banter a good reminder of our friendship.

“But I’m you now,” I realized. “Does that mean I’m the titan now?”

All the blood drained from Eren’s face. I felt mine do the same. “That’s… probably true, now.”

I looked down at my right hand, the hand I know Eren would always bite to transform.

“Oh no.”

“ ‘Oh no’ is probably accurate,” said Eren.

“Eren, I don’t wanna be a titan,” I stated, another wave of panic washing over me. I put my face in my hands. “Oh Walls, no, I don’t want this. Please no no no no–”

“Armin, stop freaking out,” Eren reassured, struggling to sit up. “You aren’t going to turn into a titan randomly. You need to have a set goal in mind and you need to draw blood. Those are both things you can avoid.”

“But it _can_ happen!” I tore my hands away from my face and stood up, fighting the residual dizziness. I started to pace, a nervous habit I had obviously retained. “Eren, we need to fix this now. _Right now._ ”

“Don’t worry, we will. When Mikasa gets back with Hanji, we’ll sort this out, I promise. Just sit down and relax, you’re making me anxious.”

I ignored him and continued pacing, trying to think of a solution. It was silent in the room for a few more minutes before we heard two sets of footsteps running down the hallway, getting louder as they approached our room. When they reached the doorway, Mikasa came flying in, closely followed by Hanji.

“Eren,” panted Mikasa, looking at me. Then she turned her attention to the actual Eren. “Armin, you’re awake.”

“Hello lovelies! I’m glad you both weren’t blown to smithereens!” exclaimed Hanji, a smile on their face.

I looked to Eren and he nodded silently. I looked back to Hanji and Mikasa standing next to Eren’s bed. “Actually Hanji, something weird has happened,” I started.

“Ooh, Eren, so serious. What’s up, butter cup? Looks like all your injuries have healed, thanks to your titan ability.”

“Well, first of all, I’m not Eren,” I said. “I think Eren and I switched bodies.”

“Did you hit your head too hard when you fell, honey? I know you may be confused after what happened but–”

“He’s telling the truth,” Eren interrupted. “I’m not Armin. He is.” He pointed to me with a shaky hand.

“Please, you have to believe us.”

Mikasa, who had been silent up until this point, spoke. “I don’t know what the hell you’re talking about, but you need to quit it. How can you be Armin?”

I decided that the best way to convince her would be to tell her something only I knew about her. “When Eren transformed into a titan for the first time, when we all thought he was dead, on the roof… I told you…” I looked over at Eren. He was watching intensely. Mikasa nor I had ever told him this. “I told you that it s-should have b-been me that- that died.” I could feel my eyes burn as I looked at the floor. “Out of our whole squad, it was only me that survived. It should have been me dead, not Eren.” I sniffed.

That was obviously enough for Mikasa. “Armin?”

At the sound of my name, I looked up to Mikasa’s face. Her dark eyes were wide in shock and recognition. I smirked and felt a loose tear roll down my cheek. “Do you believe me now?”

Mikasa hesitated for only half a second before enveloping me in a tight hug.

“I’m so sorry,” she whispered. Her head turned towards who I assumed was Eren, still sat up in his bed. “Eren?”

“Yeah, it’s me ‘Kasa.”

She let go of my shoulders and pulled me over by the hand to Eren.

“How is this possible?” she asked.

“Armin think’s it’s because of Hanji’s experiment.” He looked up at me. “It makes sense. We just woke up like this.” I silently nodded.

“This is crazy,” said Mikasa.

“This is indeed an unforeseen development,” said Hanji, who had been watching this exchange with a gleam in their eye. “This was definitely not what my machine was intended for.”

“Yeah, you said it created fields of energy,” I supplied. I sat down slowly onto Eren’s bed. “Maybe that energy was powerful enough to swap my soul, or something, with Eren’s. I honestly have no idea.”

“Well, while we’re sorting this out, I don’t think it would be a good idea to let anyone know what happened to you two.”

“Ha, that’s rich coming from you, blabber mouth,” joked Eren. I shot him a look, but he simply shrugged.

“Well, if I wasn’t convinced before, I certainly am now. We’ll keep this under wraps for now until I can fix the machine,” Hanji explained. “You two will have to pretend to be each other until then.”

“And how long will that be?” asked Mikasa.

“At least five days, maybe less if I can get anyone to help me, which may not be easy since it blew up the first time.” As they spoke, Hanji looked off into the distance, eyes moving back in forth as if they were mentally doing the repairs.

I started to feel anxious. Five whole days, _maybe_ less? Who knew if Hanji would even be able to do it at all. Five days of pretending to be Eren was going to be hard. What if someone found out? Would we be kicked out of the Survey Corps? If we were, then we’d never be able to go back to our own bodies, and we’d be leaving Mikasa–

I suddenly felt a hand on my shoulder. “Don’t worry Armin, we can do this,” Eren affirmed.

“I don’t know, Eren. I’m not that great at acting or lying, you know that. And I’m nothing like you, how could I be you 24/7?”

“Because we have to if we want to fix this. It’s just five days, what’s the worst that could happen?”

 “Well, one of you could get eaten by a titan–”

“Shut up, Hanji,” Eren, Mikasa and I all cried at the same time.

“I’m just kidding you guys,” they laughed. “Jeez, why so serious? Don’t you worry about a thing kids, yours truly has a plan!”

I had a bad feeling about this, but asked anyway. “By plan, what exactly do you mean?”

 


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was so excited I just wanted to post more as soon as possible. I succumbed. But this means more for you! Enjoy!

 

“Hanji, where do you want this?” I asked.

“Over in the corner for now, I’ll need to reattach it later.”

“Ok.” I picked up a part of what was once the heavy base to Hanji’s machine and put it where they indicated. It felt much lighter than it probably should have, but because Eren’s body was much stronger, it made it easy to move heavy things around, for which I was grateful. I was sort of getting used to Eren’s body, though it had hardly been a day.

It had been earlier this morning when Eren and I had woken up in each other’s bodies. Getting used to being taller and having slightly longer limbs that banged into every door frame if I wasn’t careful was difficult. Writing was the worst. Any fine motor skills Eren had were confusing my brain and vice versa, making it hard to write anything legible, at least to me. I was used to having very neat writing, but now it looked like Eren’s chicken scratch was having a stroke.

Hanji had said Eren should take the rest of the day off, since my body would take longer to heal from its injuries, and he agreed reluctantly. I felt a bit guilty leaving him, but Mikasa said she would keep an eye on him throughout the day and bring him lunch. So, I ended up being the one to help Hanji out with the beginnings of the repairs for their machine. When he was healed, Eren could help out too, which would keep us away from prying eyes until we could be switched back. At least, that was Hanji’s so-called plan.

“Well, that’s it for today. You should go get some dinner Armin,” declared Hanji as they wiped their hands on a loose cloth. They tossed it to me when they were done with it.

“Alright, see you later,” I replied, copying them. “Eren and Mikasa can probably help tomorrow. I think Mikasa has her day off.”

“Sounds good, hun.”

I made my way towards the cafeteria. It was a little on the later side, which I was thankful for, so there weren’t as many people as there were during normal meal time. After receiving my food – a strange stew with what I hoped was potatoes in it – I went and sat down at an empty table. I kept my eyes to myself and tried to be as inconspicuous as possible. I knew not many people from the Scouts liked Eren, so if I could keep my head low maybe no-one would speak to me.

“Yeager.”

I froze with my spoon halfway to my mouth and looked up from my stew. Captain Levi was standing in front of me just across the table. I set down my spoon with a small clang.

“Y-yes, sir?”

“You’re helping shitty-glasses out with their death machine, right?” He glared at me and his eyes narrowed.

“Um… yeah, they asked me to and said they’d told the–”

Levi interrupted me. “That doesn’t mean you can skip training, Yeager.” His scowl deepened and he leaned towards me. I leaned away, slightly terrified. “No matter what, starting tomorrow, you show up for training. You can’t afford to miss one second. I don’t care if you’re helping Hanji or on the toilet. If you’re a no-show, I’ll kick your ass. _Again_.”

“Sorry, yes, I’ll be there tomorrow, sir.” I could feel a bead of sweat trail down the small of my back.

“Good.” Levi straightened and walked off, leaving me in a state of horror.

Levi had never spoken to me that way before. I don’t know if he spoke to Eren like that regularly, but I never wanted him to do that to me again.

It was then that I noticed that most of the eyes in the room were on me. My heart felt like it was going to beat out of my chest, so I picked up what was left of my food and walked out of there as fast as Eren’s legs could carry me. I didn’t slow down until I got to mine and Eren’s recovery room.

When I came in, Eren was pacing the room with a look of deep concentration on his face. My face. He noticed me and blue eyes focused on my face for a second before looking at the tray in my hand.

“Is that for me?” he asked.

I had completely forgotten to get him a tray. “Oh, um… sorry, I forgot to grab you some. But you can have the rest of mine.” I held out the tray towards him.

“No, Arms, that’s yours, I can go get my own if I need to.”

“Don’t bother, I’m not hungry anyway. If you don’t eat it, it will just go to waste,” I countered.

“Fine,” conceded Eren. He walked over slowly, as if he was still stiff from the pain, and took the tray from my hands. His fingers brushed mine and I felt my face warm a little as he turned to sit at the table in the corner of the room. It had two chairs, so I pulled up the second one and sat next to him.

“I can see why you weren’t hungry, this stuff’s kinda bland and gross,” remarked Eren, after spooning in a couple mouthfuls.

“Yeah,” I sighed. I crossed my arms on the table and rested my forehead against them.

“Rough day?”

“You could say that.” My voice was muffled by my arms.

“Did Hanji work you too hard? They know they just blew us up yesterday, right?”

I turned my head towards him, looking at him sideways. Even though his mouth was full of food, he smiled. It was such an Eren thing to do it made me smile as well.

“No, Hanji was surprisingly considerate today. I thought they’d be all over me asking about what it feels like to be another person. If they had, I would have told them what horrible balance you have, and that’s saying something.”

“Shut up, you have nothing to complain about. You got taller. I’m the one stuck with short arms and bad eyesight.”

“I don’t have bad eyesight!”

“You sure? ‘Cause I’m pretty sure you need glasses or something. I can barely see a thing in dim light. And things get fuzzy if they’re far away.”

“Well not all of us can have perfect vision. It’s not like I can control it! My vision is fine for what I need to do.” I could feel my face heating up even more.

“Like sitting around and reading all day? I did that today and it was really boring. Going to the bathroom was an adventure though. It’s a good thing we’re both guys, but it was still weird. Also a good thing you don’t have anything I haven’t seen before either, or I would have had some questions.” Eren was rambling.

I turned my red face back into my arms and mumbled, “At least you didn’t get scolded by Levi today.”

“What?” asked Eren.

After a few seconds I lifted my head with a sigh. “Levi chewed me out for missing training and helping Hanji all day. Does he usually speak to you that way?”

“Only when he’s pissed at me, which is like ninety-nine percent of the time.”

“Then you’ll have to tell me when to go tomorrow, since I don’t know your training schedule.”

“It’s just for a couple hours after the scheduled lunch time. Just tell Hanji tomorrow, you’ll be fine.”

“Speaking of Hanji,” I said. “I think they overestimated the amount of work it will take to repair the machine. Even with you and Mikasa helping, I think it will take more than five days. Maybe even more than a week.” I met Eren’s eyes with a frown.

Eren groaned. “This is so annoying.”

“How do you think I feel? Everyone looks at me differently. It’s unnerving. I don’t know how you do it.”

“I just ignore stupid people, like stupid Jean and his annoying existence.”

“Don’t be mean,” I chided.

It was then that Mikasa walked into the room. She greeted us and automatically I scooted over on my chair so she could sit down next to me. She looked at me with a strange look, then her eyes widened in recognition for a second before sitting down.

“It’s so weird to get used to you guys being switched around.”

Ah. I was usually the one to sit on the same chair as her if needed, since my body was smaller and we could fit relatively comfortably. It was a tight squeeze with Eren’s body.

“So what’s going on for tomorrow?” she asked me.

“Hanji wants us all to help them, but even with all four of us working, it will likely take more than five days to repair everything,” I informed her. “However, I need to go to Eren’s training after lunch tomorrow or Levi will have my head.”

“This is such a pain,” said Mikasa.

“Litterally. I can still feel my toes tingling.” Eren lifted his foot – my foot – and wiggled his toes in front of us for emphasis.

“Gross.” Mikasa slapped is foot down.

“Ow, what the hell, Mikasa?” Eren complained.

“Stop being a baby.”

“I will if you stop hitting me.”

“Guys,” I interrupted.

“Sorry Armin,” said Eren.

“Sorry,” Mikasa mumbled.

I took a deep breath. “We need to keep our heads during the next few days, or we’ll all go crazy. Then we’ll never be able to fix this.” As I said this, I looked down at my – Eren’s – hands. The nails were short and there was still some residual grease under them from this afternoon. My words were meant for me too. If I couldn’t hold it together, I could hurt someone, or worse.

I saw Eren and Mikasa share a look out of the corner of my eye. “Don’t worry, everything will be fine,” Mikasa reassured.

We sat in silence as Eren finished my leftover food. When he was done, Mikasa stood up and volunteered to take the tray on her way back to the barracks. I would have gone with her, but I held back. We said goodbye and she left without another word.

Eren and I were alone again and we didn’t say anything for a minute. “I think I should go,” I stated, hoping to leave before things got more awkward. I turned but felt a small hand curl around my wrist.

“Wait,” urged Eren. “Can you stay here tonight?”

“I don’t know if that’s allo–”

“Please?” he interrupted. “I… don’t think I’ll be able to sleep alone.”

I only hesitated for a second before replying, “Sure.” I agreed with Eren – it would be weird to sleep without him in this state, like I was stealing his privacy. Or something.

I took off Eren’s jacket and belt and placed them on the table, and went to get us some clean face towels and some fresh water. Luckily the few people I passes on my way there and back ignored me. When I returned, Eren was already spread out on his bed under the covers with his eyes closed, my things thrown half-hazardly on the floor. I sat down in one of the chairs, pulled off Eren’s boots from my aching feet and threw them into a corner, not bothered to do much else with them. I called his name, but he barely stirred, so I just rolled my eyes and wiped down my face and neck trying in vain to clean off today’s sweat and dirt from my skin.

When I felt I had done the best job I could, I turned off all the lamps except for the one between the beds and I sat down on Eren’s bed to rouse him.

“Eren,” I said quietly. “Do you want to wash your face?”

“Yoo wsh yer face,” he mumbled.

“I already did, dummy. Now please attempt to keep up some personal hygiene while you’re in my body?”

Instead of replying, he grabbed me with one arm and attempted to pull me down with him. I sighed and let him. “Can I at least get under the covers?” I implored him.

He mumbled something incoherent again and let me go. I took this opportunity to turn the lamp closest to us off to throw us into complete darkness. As my eyes adjusted, I could faintly make out the stars and the sliver of moonlight coming from the small window.

I felt my way to the edge of the covers, pulled them back and slipped under. Eren automatically wrapped his arm around my shoulder and pulled me closer.

We hadn’t done this since we were kids, since before we enlisted, but I allowed it and curled under his arm. I felt the most safe then that I had felt in a long time. Eren sighed contently in his sleep and I closed my eyes.

Maybe things would be better in the morning.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Eren is such a cheeseball. Sorry if this is a little ooc, I just like to write about the fluff.  
> Thanks for reading, see you soon!


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have no chill. I was going to wait to post this one as well, but fuck it. I love this so much I just want to get it out there.
> 
> So in this one, as in the previous, I've been really vague about layouts and places, but I did some thinking and I think what I have works. For the rest, just use your imagination I guess. Also, prepare for the feels. I meant it when I said I have no chill.

 

I inhaled as I woke up suddenly. Which was probably not the best idea since there was someone’s long hair in my mouth.

I sputtered and sat up quickly, inadvertently throwing an arm off my chest. I looked over, confused, and saw a tuff of familiar blond hair stir. Right, so I wasn’t lucky enough that yesterday wasn’t just some strange, extremely vivid dream.

My face heated up and I covered my face with my hands. I heard muffled words garbled with sleep come from the lump beside me. I guess Eren had woken at my abrupt movement, as we seemed to have intertwined even more during the night. The blanket was sideways and practically falling off, and Eren had stolen the pillow, leading me to believe this was how I ended up with blond hair in my mouth.

 _At least I slept soundly last night,_ I thought. _No weird dreams. Except the one I’m currently living, of course._

I scrubbed the sleep from my eyes and slowly stood up to get my bearings while combatting the sudden vertigo. The sun was barely up so I figured I had the time to get changed into new clothes before breakfast, which would mean I’d need to head to the barracks and make my way quietly to Eren’s quarters.

I slipped on Eren’s boots, belt, and jacket and made my way towards the doorway.

“Hey, where ya goin’?” Eren said, his voice rough with sleep.

I turned my head from the door to look at him. Eren was sitting up on one arm with an alarming case of bed head. “To get a new set of clothes from your quarters. Do you want me to grab mine too?”

“Sure,” he replied. “Might as well. I’ll be here when you get back.” He flopped back down onto his pillow.

“Alright, I’ll be back in a few.”

I made the five minute walk to the barracks, yawning the a couple times along the way. Not many people were up at this hour other than the few who were on the early shift or just coming in from the night shift. Since we were living in the Karanes district, the easternmost city on Wall Rose, we needed to keep watch for approaching titans since Trost had become impenetrable. We were now a target for the titans who wanted to breach the walls. In about three months we would attempt to reach Shiganshina again with a revised strategy. I attended some of the meetings with Erwin, but the man liked to keep his cards close to his chest, so I still didn’t have a concrete idea on what he was planning.

I wasn’t bothered as I made my way to Eren’s quarters and sorted through his few things before coming up with a clean shirt and pants. Lucky me. I could feel my bladder protesting, but that would have to wait until I had returned with our clothes. I flushed at the thought. Until this was over, I was going to have to get used to Eren’s body. Even though I hadn’t said anything to Eren, I also had to adjust to handling… things. I shook my head.

_Penis, dick, cock, fucking motherfucker. EREN’S DICK. There, now it’s all out Armin. Get used to it._

With those wonderful thoughts in my head, I made my way to my own quarters. Luckily, no one was around to see me root through my own things in Eren’s body, not that they would think much of it. I doubt people thought it strange anymore for us to be together more often than not, which was fine with me. Eren going through my stuff wouldn’t be out of character.

I was just leaving when Jean spotted me.

“Eren!”

I sighed internally, trying to channel Eren’s personality. “Hey Jean,” I deadpanned.

Without missing a beat he walked up to me. “So I heard you’re stuck helping Hanji fix their crazy machine, sucks to be you.”

“Yeah, especially since I was blown up by it.” I readjusted the clothes in my arms uncomfortably.

“Ha, nothing you can’t handle then, with that brick of a head you have. How’s Armin?”

“Also a little blown up, but I- we’re fine. What are you even doing up this early?” I tried to change the subject.

“Wow, no comeback this time? I’m just making the rounds. I was night shift from midnight to dawn, then I went to report in, and now I’m here. Maybe I should go see Armin today before I go pass out.”

“Shut up, and no, don’t,” I thought fast. “He’s, uh, still injured and doesn’t want to see anyone, just Mikasa and I.”

Jean and I had gotten closer since the events with Annie and the female titan, since we had both come so close to death and survived together. He was actually friendly with me and I tried to reciprocate, to Eren’s chagrin. It’s not like I had many friends to begin with, so being able to talk to a friend outside of Mikasa and Eren was refreshing at times.

Jean frowned, confused. Before he could say anything though, I added, “But I’ll let him know you wanted to talk to him.”

I left Jean with that and scurried down the hallways back to the recovery room. As I entered, Mikasa and Eren were sitting on his bed. Their conversation stopped when I entered.

“Hey Mikasa,” I greeted her, then turned to Eren. “Here’s my stuff, I grabbed a couple shirts and pants.”

“Thanks,” Eren simply said.

I threw everything down on the unoccupied bed as they stared at me in silence. I grabbed my change of clothes from the pile and headed off to the bathroom without another word. Whatever they were talking about, they obviously didn’t want to include me. I’d interrogate them later about it, but now Eren’s body was seriously giving me warnings on a potential impending explosion if I didn’t go pee _right now._

I ran, throwing my clothes onto the floor, into the bathroom to relieve myself. Once I was done, I went to a corner and changed quickly before someone else came in. I was just buckling up my belt when I heard the breakfast bell ring. I patted down Eren’s hair as best I could before gathering my things.

As I walked out of the bathroom with Eren’s dirty clothes, I decided to leave Eren to Mikasa and head over to get some breakfast before starting another hectic day with our resident crazy scientist, followed by Levi’s death training. Before that, however, I stashed the dirty clothes back in Eren’s quarters to deal with later.

 _I hope this day goes better than yesterday_ , I thought despite my sinking feeling.

 

* * *

 

‘’Hanji, how much longer is this gonna take?’’ asked Eren.

“It took me months to build this the first time gents, don’t expect this to be finished so quickly.”

I groaned in pain. Levi had worked us especially hard today, and even with Eren’s heightened abilities, training had still left me with a sore _everything_. I wasn’t used to doing anything intensely physical since joining the Scouts, so I have a feeling I ate shit more times than anyone else there combined. Suffice to say, I wasn’t in the mood to do more heavy lifting.

Mikasa had had to leave early in the afternoon for patrol, but not before I had come back after training covered in sweat and dirt. She just offered an apologetic look, then left without a word to her duties.

Eren looked constipated every time he tried to move anything heavy after that. I just hopped he wouldn’t throw my back out.

I think Hanji could see we were exhausted by late afternoon, so they told us we were done for the day. I was relieved, but also disappointed. At this rate, it would definitely take a week to fix the machine. And even then, if we recreated what happened, what guarantee did we have that we would actually switch back? When Hanji said we were done, I trudged over to the wall, leaned up against it and slid down onto the ground. I sat, exhausted, mind circling, when Eren came to sit down beside me.  We were both completely spent for the day.

I closed my eyes and listened to Eren’s heavy breathing beside me. I really wanted to lay on his shoulder for a minute, but just as I was about to I heard a familiar voice.

“Hey Armin! Feeling better? Yeager looks like he’s about ready to pass out,” scoffed Jean.

 _Please, not now,_ I thought, ready to do some damage control.

“What do you want, Kierstein?” I asked in my most irritated voice, which wasn’t that hard to muster up, my eyes still closed.

“I’m fine, Jean, now go away,” said Eren, sounding more exhausted than annoyed.

“What? I just thought you guys might want some help, so I came by once I woke up. Are you done already?”

“Just for today,” interjected Hanji. “If you have time tomorrow, you should come help.”

I opened my eyes in alarm. What was Hanji thinking!?

Before I could say anything, Jean responded. “Sure, I’ll come by tomorrow morning.”

I just barely concealed my groan. It would be great to have more help, but if Jean were to work with us Eren and I would have to act like each other around him all day, a thought that didn’t please me at all.

“No it’s fine, we’re good,” Eren intoned, staring at Hanji.

They met his stare. “The more people we have helping, the faster this will go, wouldn’t you agree Armin?”

I saw Eren visibly stiffen, then nod his head reluctantly. I closed my eyes in defeat. It made sense: the faster this got done, the faster things could return to normal. That didn’t mean I had to like it.

After Jean left, we said our goodbyes to Hanji as well and headed back to the recovery room, which Hanji had arranged for us to stay in after Eren’s recovery. I don’t know how they did it, but I guess as long as no one else was injured, we could use it.

We both collapsed on our respective beds once we arrived back in our rooms. Dinner time was still a couple hours away, so we had time to rest before then.

After a few minutes of silence, I sat up and took Eren’s boots off my feet again and threw them in the same corner as before. They thumped against the wall before sliding down gracelessly to the floor.

“What are we gonna do, Eren?”

I saw Eren turn his head towards me from the corner of my eye. He just stared at me, prompting me. This was my process – if I talked at him and used him as a sounding board for ideas, it helped me find solutions to especially tough situations. He trusted I could come up with things on my own.

“With Jean there, it’s going to be undoubtedly more stressful for us. On the other hand, having another person there would speed things up.” I turned to look at him, meeting his blue-eyed stare. “Maybe we should just tell him about what happened?”

“No way, he’d never let me live this down. Especially since…” Eren trailed off and looked away.

“Since what?” I asked him, curious. When Eren didn’t respond right away, I tried to convince him to keep going. “You know you can tell me anything, right?”

Eren hesitated, a sorrowful look coming over his face. “Well… I guess there’s no easy way to put this. Since I’m you.”

“Wow, rude,” I said, mock-offended.

“Not… Ugh, Armin, not like that. I mean… I’m not the smartest by any means, you know that.” I tried to interrupt but he put up his hand. “Compared to you, I’m not smart. All I have going for me is the fact that I can turn into the thing I hate most to fight what I hate most, and I’m not even the only one! There’s a good chance there are more titan shifters out there besides me and Annie.”

Eren quieted for a moment, and I let him collect his thoughts before he spoke to me, like he did for me before.

“Now, in your body, I have nothing going for me. Even though you’re physically weak, at least you had your brain, which is worth ten, or even a hundred soldiers alone. If we never switch back, and yes I know that’s a possibility, then I have nothing. I _am_ nothing.” He closed his eyes tight, which caused the tears pooling up in his eyes to fall.

“Eren,” I said softly and moved to sit beside him. “No. You are not nothing.” I said this firmly, looking into his eyes which refused to meet mine. He needed to know. To understand. “You are not nothing, because you chose this. You _chose_ this, even before you found out you were a titan, before we even _enlisted!_ You knew it was your destiny to fight the titans, and Mikasa and I followed you for that. Not just because we’re friends, but because, when I saw the fire in your eyes, the _passion_ burning, I knew I could follow you anywhere.” He looked up at me slowly, tears still falling.

I continued. “If it wasn’t for you, I wouldn’t be here. I’d probably be on the streets, starving, praying for death. But you and Mikasa saved me, and have continued saving a little boy who couldn’t even fight back when his life depended on it. I can’t…”

I tried to hold back my tears, but what was the point now. “You _died_ for me Eren! In front of me. I saw you get eaten, and I thought you were gone forever, because of me. And I did nothing. Mikasa would have _never_ forgiven me. But somehow you lived. You didn’t even know it at the time, but your will to live saved you.” I was grabbing him by the shoulders now. “You’ve saved so many people! Without you, _we are nothing!_ ”

Eren was frozen, awestruck by my rhetoric. I realised I was gripping him very tightly and let go. “So don’t you ever think those thoughts again, because they aren’t true. They will never be true. We _all_ believe in you. We _all_ need you…” I thought briefly about what my next words may reveal, but said them anyway. “ _I_ need you.”

Before I could process another thought, Eren had wrapped his arms around me and crushed me to his chest. I started to cry harder, my shoulders shaking, and I could tell Eren was in a similar state while I gripped his shirt with my fingers.

After what could have been minutes or hours, Eren spoke. And what came out of his mouth were words I would have never expected. Or forgotten.

“Armin, I love you.”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> O.O  
> Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee (runs off into the distance)  
> Bet you didn't see that coming. (jk you probably did)


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Heyo! School has picked up again, but here's the next little bit. The plot thickens.

 

My eyes widened. I couldn’t believe my ears. _Eren… loves me?_

“You…” I pulled away from him slowly. Our eyes connected and he could probably read the confusion on my face. I couldn’t believe that he returned my feelings.

“You don’t have to say anything, Arms,” he stated. “You don’t have to say anything at all. I just wanted you to know.”

I balked. “I-”

Before I could say anything more, Mikasa came flying into the room shouting our names.

“Eren! Armin! You need to come with me now. A huge pack of titans are closing in and we’re thinking they’re abnormals. The higher ups need all hands on deck.”

After only a moment’s hesitation I stood up quickly. I looked back at Eren, hoping he could see that we weren’t done with this conversation. “Lead the way,” I told her.

We ran down the halls and up the stairs towards Erwin’s strategy room. Despite our exhaustion, we were able to make it up there in good time.

I stopped and turned back to Eren when we were only a minute away from the briefing room.

“I don’t know if we’re going to be able to keep this a secret anymore. If they need me to strategize, I don’t know what we can do.” It wasn’t unusual for Erwin to ask my opinion on missions these days. I had a feeling he was sort of training me to be his underling, and maybe even his successor one day. I secretly hoped that day would never come.

He grimaced. “Yeah, I don’t think I can pretend to be you for this.”

I closed my eyes, trying to think of a way out of the situation. “What if…” I opened my eyes and was caught in an intense blue gaze. “What if we listen to the debriefing and you can just say you want me to explain what you’ve already thought up? Then I can improvise.”

Eren nodded. “Sounds good. Don’t make me sound too smart though, they won’t believe you.”

I rolled my eyes. “You’re plenty smart enough for this Eren. Anyway, we should hurry. Mikasa is probably wondering what happened to us.” I took his hand and squeezed. He smiled and squeezed back lightly before dropping my hand and leading us the rest of the way.

We made our way to the room and it looked as though we were some of the last ones there.

As we walked in, I looked to the right and saw Erwin was at the head of the table with a couple of the higher-ranking officers from Karanes. There were also at least a dozen soldiers of the elite Scouts and Military Police present. In the past few months, politics had settled a bit and we were now on decent terms with the other divisions. I noted, however, that Eren, Mikasa and I were the only newbies present. Mikasa was standing by the windows opposite us.

“So you finally decided to show up, brats. Where’s Hanji?”

I turned my head to see Levi sitting at the other end of the table, a scowl on his face.

It was then that I heard a loud rustle of fabric accompanied by loud footsteps and an enthusiastic voice. “Here, grumpy pants!”

They had just run in behind us. Eren and I both moved a bit out of the way to the right to let them through and to get a little more distance between us and Levi.

Erwin looked up at Hanji. “Good, everyone is here. Let’s not waste time.”

Everyone took their seats and we made our way over to Mikasa. My mind was still our conversation from before, but Eren shoved me a bit and I got moving. Once everyone was settled, Erwin began.

“Our initial reports estimate about two dozen titans headed directly for the gate.” Everyone started whispering furiously, and I soaked up the information, possible plans already whirling around in my brain. He paused so everyone could quiet down.

“Now usually this wouldn’t be cause for concern, as the sun will be setting in a few hours, but their activity suggests that they may be abnormal. They will be here within the hour at their current speed, so we must be ready.” Erwin looked around the room, catching almost everyone’s eyes, mine included.

“This shouldn’t be a problem. If we can thin out their numbers by half before they reach the wall, we should be able to take the rest out with our cannons.”

Erwin walked over to a drawing board and picked up some chalk. There was already a crude drawing of the wall and Karanes district. “We’ll have two parties of thirty draw off as many titans as possible and take them out.” He drew two circles and arrows leading what I assumed were markers for titans off to each side. “These parties will be led by myself and Captain Levi, who will also be taking Cadet Yeager.”

My heart started to beat even faster that it already was. I had a feeling what Erwin was going to say next, and I didn’t like it at all.

“This will be a perfect opportunity to test his titan shifter ability out on a public, military mission. We can showcase him to the government as further proof that he is an asset in the protection of our nation from the titans, if needed.” He turned around to stare at me, and so did everyone else, with looks varying from confidence to complete distain. I didn’t say anything, but I attempted to look confident like Eren. I nodded slowly to Erwin.

“It should be an easy run with minimal casualties, if everything goes well. However, this is just what I’ve come up with since the news came in. Does anyone have any suggestions or comments? Cadet Arlert?”

I nudged Eren and he saluted Erwin. “Yes, Commander?”

“Do you have any suggestions, improvements to this plan?”

There was some murmuring before Eren replied. “Uh, I was actually just, uh, talking with Eren on the way here, so he could explain my thoughts to everyone in the room.”

Before anyone else could say anything, there was a chuckle from the other end of the table. “Alright then, Arlert. What does Yeager have to say?” Levi gazed at us with a suspicious stare.

I cleared my throat and saluted, organizing my arguments in my head. I took a moment before speaking.

“Well I – I mean Armin – was thinking it would be best if he and Hanji went with Captain Levi’s squad so that if we are able to capture a titan I would be there to help with its submission. As it is getting dark, this might be the perfect opportunity to capture an abnormal as the titans lose momentum, so Hanji and their assistants being there would be helpful. Then, worst case scenario, Armin could help Captain Levi restrain me and cut me out if I’m unable to get out myself after dealing with the titans.”

The room was silent for a moment. I continued. “However, this would only be secondary to the actual mission, as the safety of both parties should be confirmed before attempting to subdue a titan. We don’t want any more casualties than necessary.”

“Interesting,” said Erwin, giving me a curious look. “This could only happen if both parties were to eliminate their respective titans, but it could be worth it. We’ll plan for this contingency, and use the flare guns to communicate between squads. All those I spoke to before please stay so that we may divvy up the troupes. Everyone else, dismissed until further notice.”

The murmuring began once again and we got a few looks. Mikasa, who hadn’t said a word to us yet made her way out of the room with Eren close behind. I was about to follow, when Erwin called me over.

“Eren, can I have a word?”

I gave Eren and Mikasa one last look as they left, then went to Erwin’s side. He seemed slightly shorter than I was used to, probably since Eren’s body was taller than mine, so I didn’t have to look up so high to meet Erwin’s gaze. “Sir?” I asked.

He pulled me aside, leaving the other officers to their conversations. Careful to not be overheard, Erwin spoke quietly and calmly.

“Hanji spoke with me earlier about the accident in the lab, but I found it difficult to believe a word they said about your predicament with Eren, until now.”

I sucked in a breath. “You know?” I whispered harshly. “Damnit, Hanji wasn’t supposed to tell anyone.”

“Hanji always reports to me, no matter what. It was our deal when I allowed them to continue titan research for the Scouts. If I’m not informed of everything going on in this regiment, things could get… difficult very quickly.”

“Then sir, why did you suggest I use Eren’s titan abilities for this mission? I have no idea how to use his powers, who knows what will happen!”

“Keep your voice down. Do you want everyone knowing about this?”

I shook my head. “Does Captain Levi know?”

“I suspect he may have his theories, but I haven’t told him yet. After today, I wouldn’t be surprised if he suspected even more than he did before.”

I looked over to where Levi was still sitting. He appeared bored while Hanji and one of the other Scouts spoke with him. However, I could tell he was watching us from the corner of his eye. So even Levi wasn’t privy to everything.

“What should I do then?” I asked Erwin, after a moment.

“We will follow the plan. I’m guessing you may have already broached the subject with Eren, but I would go over it again. I think it will be very interesting to see if your control over Eren’s titan form will differ from his.” I looked back at the Commander and saw a glint in his eye. He could be really creepy sometimes.

There wasn’t much else I could say. “Sir, I’ll do my best.”

“That’s all I ask. Now go prepare yourselves. You will need to be at the gate in twenty minutes so I can debrief our squad.”

I took this as a dismissal, saluted again, and turned to exit the room. I kept my eyes down until I was halfway down the corridor. Worries and possible outcomes whirred around in my head as I absentmindedly walked, not entirely sure where I was going. I just knew I had to walk. Soon enough I found an old conference room that was small and unused from what I could tell of the dust coating every surface. I could feel my thoughts quickly derailing and I closed the door slowly behind me and slid down with my back against it.

_–of course there’s no guarantee I’ll have to use Eren’s power but I have a feeling things are going to go horribly wrong I know my luck won’t hold up it’ll be just like last time I won’t be able to do anything and Eren will die because I can’t do what he does why do I have to be this scared and useless why did this happen why now what are we going to–_

My manic train of thought was disrupted by a knock on the door behind me.

“Armin?” said a muffled voice. Of course it was Eren. Just perfect. “I know you’re in there, Mikasa saw you go in. We waited for you until you were finished talking to Erwin but you rushed off before we could talk to you.”

“Go away,” I murmured quietly, half hoping he wouldn’t even hear me. “I’ll be down in a minute.”

“No Armin, you need to let me in. We need to talk about the mission.”

I was standing before I even knew what was happening and whipped the door open to reveal my body’s surprised face.

“What is there to talk about?!” I cried. “The best plan we have is us going out there and me probably having to transform into a raging titan. We don’t really have a choice if we want to do what’s best for the advancement of humanity, especially since we’re so close to a breakthrough!”

I realised my voice was getting too loud and did my best to speak quieter, even though there was no one around. “But I’m terrified, Eren. I can’t do this. I have no idea how to do this, or if I’ll even be able to control myself. I’m not you.”

“For today, you are,” said Eren. His gaze was intense as he spoke to me. “There’s nothing we can do about that, so for now just do your best. I’ll be by your side the whole time, and Levi will be there too, the bastard.” He smirked. “We can get through this, but only if we work together.”

Eren grabbed my hands in his smaller ones. “You’re a genius, Arms. You’re the best improvisor I know, and you’re a quick learner. If anyone can get the hang of this whole titan thing, it’s you and that big brain of yours.”

I sniffed as I felt tears prickle behind my eyes, but I held them back. I nodded silently and broke Eren’s gaze. He let go of my hands and wrapped his arms around me again, and I did the same with him, pulling him as close as our bodies could get. I wanted to tell him so badly that I loved him too, but I didn’t want our last words to each other before a mission to be so risky. _When_ we made it back alive, I would tell him.

I knew we had to go and prepare for the mission, however. So, after a few minutes I pulled back and silently led us down the hall towards what very well may be our last mission together.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here we go. I'll be back soon with the next update, see ya then!


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So when I said soon... within a year counts, right?  
> Sorry this took so long to do, but my motivation is back. Hope this is alright.

 

_“Get up.”_

_As I lay on my back with the wind knocked out of me, I think:_ This is the end. This is how I die. With humanity’s strongest soldier flipping me head-first into the dirt until I break my neck.

_As I struggle to pull breath into my lungs, I roll over and brace myself on my elbows. I raise my eyes and meet Levi’s intense gaze._

_“I’m not giving you any slack just because Erwin thinks your brain power is worth more than your physical training. You should never rely on anyone else for protection, especially here.”_

_I’m able to stand up, albeit very shakily, and get into a fighting stance. I squint in the bright sunlight, as the sun has long since risen and it is now almost noon._

_Levi stares at me for a second, then nods. “Be ready this time, Arlert,” is all the warning I get before he’s a foot away from me. I see him lunge for my left leg and I try to dodge by moving my leg behind me, effectively letting Levi’s momentum bring him past me._

_However, he anticipates this and uses his momentum to bring himself around behind me to grab my arm into a headlock. I drop my weight, hoping to throw off his balance, and we both go down to the ground. His hold loosens on my arm and I squirm away and roll to the side. Before I can get my bearings, Levi is on top of my torso and pinning my arms on either side of my head._

_Fuck._

_He holds me there for a second and I close my eyes in defeat. We’re both breathing heavily this time._

_His grip suddenly releases from my arms. When I open my eyes, he’s standing above me and offering me his hand._

_“Your reflexes are shit,” he says. “But I think that’s enough for today.”_

_I gingerly reach up and grab his hand with my own, much dirtier one. He grimaces and grunts as he hauls me up._

_He turns and walks over to where our towels lay on a wooden fence and I follow him practically dragging my feet. As he leans against the fence he wipes his hands with his towel. I grab mine with one hand and flop onto the grass._

_We don’t say anything for a while. Catching my breath, I close my eyes and listen to the sounds of the Scouts’ camp. I can hear the faint clopping of hooves as soldiers ride some of the horses, doing this and that. I can hear the sound of voices drifting over to us, but I can’t decipher any words. The usual sounds of a working day surround me and fill me with a sense of calm. I can feel the grass beneath my free hand where it lays spread out on the ground. I grip the towel tighter in my other hand, and when I open my eyes again, I can see a few clouds floating along in the sky._

_My breathing evens out and I can feel my muscles aching. It’s been a long week, and in the aftermath of Eren’s big fight with Annie I haven’t had much time for any physical training with the Scouts ever since. So when Levi thought it best to take me aside and do some extra work I didn’t complain._

_“You gonna get up?”_

_Levi’s shadow looms over me. I force my muscles into working order and sit up slowly. I use the towel to wipe my brow._

_“Sorry sir, it’s been a while,” I reply._

_“Come on then, let’s go get changed,” he says. “I’d rather not have to be in these filthy clothes for much longer.”_

_Once I’m up, we head inside. As we walk to the living quarters we pass some fellow soldiers, most of who’s faces I recognise but can’t remember the names of._

_As we near where Levi would turn of to head to his quarters, he stops and turns to me._

_“Do you know why I go harder on you than anyone else in training?”_

_I’m surprised at his words. “Well, I guess because I’m weaker than most of the other soldiers here?”_

_“That’s part of it,” he explains. “However, that’s not the only reason. You’re an asset whether or not you can lift fifty pounds, and if all you did for this regiment was sit at a desk and plan, Erwin would still keep you around.” He leans in closer to me. “I want you to be more than that. Just because you’re small doesn’t mean your weak. People will inherently underestimate you and you can use that to your advantage. Keep them on their toes and they can’t touch you.”_

_I don’t really know what to say when he stops speaking, so I nod firmly. “I’ll do my best, sir.”_

_“Dismissed,” he says curtly and turns abruptly away towards his quarters._

_I watch him go for a moment, observing his perfect posture as he retreats down the hall._

_With a jolt, I continue on my way to the barracks._ Maybe he does have a soft spot for me, _I think_. Or maybe he just doesn’t want me to be a liability. Either way, I should keep up with my physical training.

_Then I hear someone calling me._

_Armin?_

“ _…_ Armin?”

After a moment I was thrown back into the present. There was a hand on my shoulder and someone was gently shaking me.

“Sorry, I was just… thinking,” I said, eyes focusing quickly on a figure beside me. Mikasa.

“You need to go get ready, they’re expecting us to ride out in twenty minutes and you need to get Eren’s horse ready.”

I nodded at her, remembering the plan. We would ride out as soon as we were able and I was to go as Eren with Eren as me with Captain Levi’s squad. Then I would have to…

“Let’s go.”

I had just finished dropping off some of Eren’s things at the barracks, seeing as when I transformed into Eren’s titan form I couldn’t be wearing maneuver gear lest it be destroyed.

I let my feet guide me to the stables after Mikasa’s retreating figure and found my way to Eren’s horse. I was one of the last people getting ready so I hurried to catch up to the rest of the team.

Riding a horse in Eren’s body was a new experience. It took me a few minutes to adjust to my new center of gravity, but I was able to take my position as the squads were divvied up. As Commander Erwin said, we formed three groups, with him leading one, Mike leading the second staying behind to command the soldiers at the Wall, and Captain Levi leading the third. Since I was a bit later than the others I ended up near the rear of our group. Some of the townsfolk had come to greet us and wish us luck, but because of the last-minute nature of our expedition, not as many people were out as usual.

I glanced over to the Commander’s squad and saw Mikasa lined up with Jean and Sasha. Hopefully she would keep them alive. I looked around some more and spotted familiar blond locks a few rows ahead of me. _So Eren was able to be here on time for a change._

I could see him searching the crowd. Once we were outside the Wall we would assume our formation which would put me in the center and Eren to the far side of the approaching titans. We would be the team going left to lure titans away.

We were as prepared as we could be.

A hush suddenly fell upon the soldiers as Mike appeared on the wall. He yelled down the OK to proceed and Erwin turned to us.

“Alright soldiers, remember your duties and our primary objective: draw away and slay as many titans as possible so that Wall Rose does not take the brunt of the assault. There will likely be abnormals, so watch the signal gun flares and do your best to survive.” The gate before us began to open. As soon as we could see through on our horses, Erwin shouted his command: “Advance!”

With that, the Scouts moved out as fast as our horses could carry us. I found my place in our squad fairly easily, staying in line behind Levi as he led our group. Everyone was dressed to the nines with equipment except for me. I felt almost naked. I focused on keeping my position and not falling off my horse.

The two groups advanced together for about two hundred yards before the Commander sent up a yellow flare, the signal to separate.

Our squad followed Levi closely, moving to the left as planned. I still couldn’t see the titans in the distance, but once we broke the treeline I was sure I wouldn’t be able to miss them. There was a tense few minutes where all we could do was ride hard and keep position. Our long shadows cast a foreboding pattern on the trees blocking our view. When we finally broke the treeline, we looked to our right and saw them.

It was immediately apparent that there were at least three or four fifteen-meter class titans and almost twenty ten-meters or below. From this distance I couldn’t make out any distinguishing features, but I was sure many were ginning absently. Some were bipedal, while others ran on all fours. None moved quite the same. As soon as our squad was completely clear of the trees, the Captain fired off a green flare into the sky. In the distance, another flare answered ours – the signal to begin the operation.

Our squad would slow down a bit, but I would keep going to get as far out from the group as possible. Then, once the Commander saw the titans and his squad got closer, he would shoot another green flare. One of two things could happen: the titans could either be drawn to the Commander’s squad, or not. If the former occurred, I would try to get as close as possible and transform to draw some away, effectively splitting the hoard. If the latter occurred, both squads would have to speed up again and close in, hoping to split the hoard once we got closer. They wouldn’t engage, just try to lead the titans away by circling back around. In this case, I would hang back and assist when Levi gave the order. And if some titans continued towards Wall Rose, we would leave them to Mike’s squad.

However, it was likely that this plan wouldn’t hold if something went wrong. If the plan fell apart, someone would fire a red flare and we would retreat to the Wall and fight there. I hoped it wouldn’t come to that.

I finally broke through the front line, urging my horse to the limit. I held on for dear life, up a bit in the saddle and getting as low as possible to get more speed. Soon we were racing away from the main group. Eren’s hair whipped back from my face and my eyes watered as we got closer and closer to the titan hoard. My vision became tunneled and my heart was beating a mile a minute. I was absolutely terrified. I more felt than saw the Commander’s flare go up.

I waited to see what the titans would do.

Their strange running pattern faltered as some broke off and went for Erwin’s squad. So, it was to be the former scenario.

_Great_ , I thought as sarcastically as I could while still scared shitless out of my mind.

As I came up on the titans as closed as I dared, I remembered what Eren said about his powers.

_I need a purpose. I need to fight the titans. Kill them. Prevent them from breaching Wall Rose. Protect my squad. KILL THE TITANS._

Determination flowed through me as I jump-rolled off my horse. I landed awkwardly but kept up my momentum and ran towards the titans at full tilt, letting my horse run away to safety.

The head of the largest fifteen-meter class turned in my direction and its dead eyes found me. I almost stopped there but then I felt it. A pulse that emanated from the core of my being, urging me on. Urging me to take the threat head-on.

_Is this how Eren feels all the time?_

Before I could finish the rest of my thought, the tallest titan roared, and the hoard scattered.

_It’s now or never_.

Over and over in my mind I repeated my purpose and finally bit down on my hand.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> All this build-up and no payout, amiright? Don't worry, the next chapter will be along shortly.  
> Thanks for sticking with me!  
> (Also, please let me know if there's anything confusing or there are inconsistencies so I can fix them!)


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